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A Solid Relationship (part two)
What
your lawyer needs to know
Once you've
chosen a lawyer, you'll need to
provide information and
direction to him or her. When
your attorney requests
information, respond as quickly,
completely, and concisely as you
can -- don't waste your own and
your lawyer's time by writing a
24-page document when all that
was required was a " yes " or "
no " answer.
Of course,
every case is unique, but the
following checklist will give
you an idea of what information
your lawyer will need. You need
to disclose:
-
Why you
are seeking a divorce. What
caused your breakup? Are you
sure you want to end the
marriage, or is the visit to
a lawyer meant to be a
wake-up call to your spouse?
" The client needs to be
sure that he or she actually
wants a divorce, " says
Wildstein. " If he or she's
secretly hoping for a
reconciliation, then the
client and lawyer are
working towards different
goals. "
-
Personal
data about you, your spouse,
and your children (if any).
Write down your names
(maiden name, too, if
applicable); your home and
work addresses and telephone
numbers; your ages and
places of birth; your Social
Security Numbers; your
states of health -- both
mental and physical; your
Green Card(s) and
immigration papers (if
applicable).
-
Facts
about your marriage. When
and where did you get
married? Did you sign a
prenuptial agreement? If so,
bring a copy of the
agreement with you. Have
either of you been married
before? Provide details of
your previous divorce(s).
-
Whether
there will be issues
involving your children --
such as custody or access.
-
Financial information. What
assets and debts did each of
you bring into the marriage?
What are your incomes and
what are your expenses --
jointly and individually?
What are the names and
addresses of your employers?
How much money do both of
you have invested: in the
bank, the stock market,
etc.? Has either of you
invested in insurance, a
pension plan, a Pension and
Profit Savings Plan? What
property do you own (a
house, car, boat, income
property, etc.)? Was the
property purchased before or
after the marriage? Do you
have a mortgage, and how
much is still owed? Prior to
seeing your lawyer, create a
budget detailing how much
you spend every month on
items such as housing, food,
clothing, personal grooming,
gifts, vacations, etc. If
you have children, and
expect to be their primary
caretaker, make sure you
factor their costs into your
budget.
-
Legal
documents. Bring copies of
prior or pending lawsuits,
bankruptcy suits, judgments,
and garnishments.
-
Your
divorce goals. Be very
specific about your goals in
terms of realizing your
future and have your short
term goals for property,
other assets, custody,
visitation, and support be
consistent with that future.
What
your lawyer expects from you
Your lawyer
is hoping you'll be the ideal
client: calm, businesslike,
competent, and well prepared. "
Ideal clients can control their
emotions; are organized; are
willing to work together with me
to attain their goals; and are
willing to listen to my advice
-- even if they don't follow it
all the time, " says Alton
Abramowitz, past-president of
the AAML (NY) and head of the
matrimonial practice at
Cooperman, Levitt, Winikoff,
Lester & Newman.
Your lawyer
will expect to be paid on-time
and in-full. If your financial
situation is bad and getting
worse, talk to your attorney
immediately; he or she may be
able to work out some kind of
payment plan that works for you.
If you're broke because your ex
cleaned out the bank account (or
did something else equally
irresponsible), you should tell
your attorney about it right
away. He or she can file motions
asking the court to grant
temporary orders for items such
as child or spousal support,
custody, control of assets,
payment of your attorney's fees,
etc. Temporary orders are meant
to ensure that certain things do
or don't happen; if you suspect
your divorce might get nasty,
ask your lawyer about filing
orders to protect you and/or
your kids -- financially and
physically.
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