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For better or
for worse, everyone in this
country has a right to his / her
day in court. If your spouse is
bound and determined to go to
court, there's ultimately not
much you can do about it. You
might, however, be able make
that day shorter and less
stressful.
We'll begin with the assumption
that you have tried with your
spouse to negotiate your divorce
on your kitchen table. Most
couples have a hard time with
this. By definition, there's
already plenty of tension in the
relationship. A good lawyer, or
two, can actually make the
process more manageable. One
option is mediation, using one
attorney. That attorney won't
represent either of you, and
will work toward a negotiated
solution.
The primary
benefit is that both of you will
then have solid legal advice on
which to base your decisions.
Often, either or both spouses
will choose to confer with his /
her own independent attorney,
too.
In my practice I get calls every
day from people who had chosen
not to use a lawyer, even in
cases involving homes, children,
pension plans, or all of the
above and more. They later
discovered that a matter that
could easily have been resolved
with competent legal advice now
is requiring expensive and
complex legal damage control.
What's happened at that point
usually is that he or she has
made some decisions based on
(often mutual) good intentions
and that has backfired on them
as they didn't fully understood
the legal implications.
Nowhere is it
truer that "an ounce of
prevention is worth a pound of
cure." Mediation offers a way to
resolve some, most and often all
the issue without anyone even
having to appear in court. It's
an Alternative that is not
necessarily less expensive.
(Obviously, it isn't Appropriate
in all cases, such as cases
involving domestic violence or
child abuse.)
Whether you decide to mediate or
litigate, it's critical that you
get good legal advice so that
you understand the implications
of your decisions, for today,
five years from now and, in some
cases, for a lifetime. |
